Megacon

Thank you so much Manny for sharing! It was majorly enlightening- so many parallels with me :)

I did have some confusion with gender when I was a child- confusing my dad with my mom oftentimes, but still, I feel that this is a topic that we've already been over this well traveled path... >.>

This weekend has been my first ever 3 day convention adventure! Granted I wasn't crossplaying (cosplaying as the other sex), but I am warming up to the idea for sure :) This weekend I went as a Vault Dweller from Fallout (as I mentioned previously) and it was pretty cool... except my bag hurt my shoulder like HELL x.x . My roommate still hasn't gotten back from spring break yet... so I decided to see how my cosplay looked like with my breast forms. They look pretty awesome and hardly noticeable... interesting prospect for a future cosplay. Not sure how they'd hold up to how hot the suit actually was, but still.

Anyway, I went to the con and while I was over in Artist alley I managed to pick up a few comics from this really awesome independent artist. Literally within a few moments of walking up to her booth I bought a $9, 200 paged graphic novel book from a woman's who's stories or work I hardly ever seen. Lucky me, it was a major score! For ages I've been looking for a great sort of deep romantic story... and I got one with this book, Festering Romance by Renee Lott http://fridgewithfeet.com/ . I went back the next day and bought some pins of the characters from the story as well as some little comic books she had. She apparently was sharing the booth with someone else, so I deduced that her stuff was pretty awesome, so as such his would be too- and I was right! You can see his stuff at the link above.

After that book charged up my desire to read a romantic story, I decided to hit up a manga booth. I picked up Ren-ne by Rumiko Takahashi (from Ranma 1/2) and Kimikiss... a girly romantic manga that made me blush like mad when I thumbed through it. I have no idea who did it and don't really care.

I abstained from looking at any henti games or stuff... preferably I'd have liked to see some dating sims where it involved men instead of girls, but thats just me. I had a few other missions (find a wallet, moar independent comic books, and so on) but failed, but its alright. I ended up getting one of those Peruvian hats with fox ears on the top, wore it around all day :)

Its absolutely interesting. I have a fairly large head, so finding hats never really worked for me. I didn't know if the foxie hat would fit- but damn if fit like a glove! I felt instantly cuddly and feminine. It was totally awesome. Whenever I wear my hoodie its a similar feeling :) I also saw a ton of guys crossplaying, which makes me even more confident to try it out later on. Some passed well, and others were blatantly obvious, but it was alright :) I am seriously interested in how Anime conventions skew social norms like that, and why couldn't real life be like a convention?

I digress. I had some great talks with my friend, who I will call Lee, who I shuttled around to the con and back. Throughout the drive, she mentioned how I have seriously grown up since she's known me back in freshman year. A few months back I told her about my transexualism, to which she replied that it was sorta obvious. It was kind of a let down, but it proves that I was true to myself in realizing it, and how kind it was for her not to really mention it to me until I got it myself. Over the last few months I've stopped drinking, masturbating, stopped looking for love in outside sources, and explored my sexuality. According to Lee it makes me more dynamic- like a protagonist instead of an NPC. We talked about boys and all kinds of things on those rides. It really makes me smile.

Over the weekend I periodically shuttled around a guy (who I will call Jay), who just doesn't like to be hugged by guys. He, for all I assume, thought I was straight, and made numerous references to girls and 'picking up chicks', to which I sorta mumbled something about picking up guys. It shocked him at first, but he overall went with it- Lee even corrected him some times to drive the point home (and I can't thank her enough for it!). Not that I'm really interested in Jay, its just nice to have someone like Lee to back me up :)

Another topic that was brought up by Lee was the fact that eventually (hopefully by summertime) I'll have to come out to my parents as multiple things: "Mom, Dad, I have something to tell you. I like men, but I'm not gay." I won't seriously say that, but its generally what the conversation would boil down to. Lee understood what I meant. I'd rather not say my sexuality, just because it may fluctuate soon.

What should be discussed is the fact of sexuality and transexualism. While both are linked, sexuality can vary based on numerous factors. While I have yet to actually do this, I'm just saying I'm a straight girl for now until my preferences change later on. Horomones, so I'm told, have a factor on it, as well as... preference and social norms. I generally see social norms as peer pressure.

Anywho, I have heard a lot of things from a lot of newly found out transexuals who worry about their sexual preference. Every time its brought up the phrase (or something similar): "Figure out if you are trans first, fix it, and then worry about sexuality later. Just put it on the back burner" is brought up to rebuttal it. Its fairly true, if you get caught up with the minor detail of your sexuality your going to miss out the broader picture- Whether or not if you are trans or not. Deal with that first, and don't really care or get freaked out if you start digging guys or girls more- its all part of learning about yourself, which is really what transitioning is all about.

Til next time-
Cath