Oat

Hey ya'll, I've been home for a little bit now, but a little too tired to write anything worthwhile here.

My vacation was overall good, saw lots of things and had some fun here and there. What wasn't fun was being stuck in my father's car while my aunt and mom drive in the other car we had. My dad kept loosing them in the traffic on our way to San Fran, and kept getting pissed, driving like crazy, and generally rendering myself catatonic.

Ugh.

I got my own room though, which was nice for a change. I got to mess around a lot and sleep whenever I wanted. The bed wasn't too bad... just had a giant ridge in the middle though. But the room was swanky, so it wasn't a big problem.

But when we got to San Fran we walked around a bunch in both the Fisherman's Warf, Chinatown, and Japantown. Luckily I was able to find some toesocks finally in a little vendor... and as what I think was a joke, my mom bought me some rainbow ones too! x3 Perhaps she knows...? I have no idea, but it was still sweet of her.

The flight back was alright. Nothing to really report there.

I've been mainly drawing my comic, and to give you all a little taste of what its all about here's the first page (click to enlarge)
I obviously couldn't make "Campbell" either male nor female, since the majority of the people who will read this will know me as either gender... So I picked a genderless name and a genderless appearance. Eventually I hope to reveal Campbell's true gender... but as of now, most people whom I showed this two think the gender of Campbell is relative to my perceived gender- people who know me as male see 'him' as male, and likewise to those who know me as female.

So overall I think the reaction to Campbell was overall a positive one and what I was really looking for when I created him/her.

Here's a rough look at the next comic, which has been changed from the original series progression... but then again its changed about 3 times now, and will keep on changin'
I have no overall comments to this thus far except that the bunny is named Paul, and the Elephant is named Gan, and the only one to wear a tie in the series. I do like the sketchyness of their dark clothes though :)

Thats all I'm up to, see ya'll later!

Away from the oil

Hey y'all, I'm not sure if I mentioned it in my last blog post (as I am too lazy to actually check it :P ) but I flew out to San Fran on the 9th of June. Me and my family will be driving all the way up the coast.

Got into San Fran at 11am local time after spending about 4 hours in the air and an extra on the ground... needless to say I was pretty damn pooped. To be honest I would have loved to have staye in San Fran the entire 'cation... but my parents decided to drive north about 7 hours (Jesus, did it really take us THAT long?) to Fort Ross where we spent the night.

Funny story. The entire ride up to the fort consisted of dozens upon dozens of twisting roads that would have made a sidewinder green with envy. I, naturally, being stuck in the back kept thinking how good I'd feel if I barfed somewhere. You know your feeling pretty bad when you feel that throwing up will help. Anyway, we got to the hotel, got the keys (I got my own room, which was super nice)... but I broke my key off in the lock. Eventually got it out and I passed out on the bed at 5pm and woke up around 9pm. Watched Mythbusters and dicked around for a while before passing out again.

Woke up the next day and went on a really nice hike around the hotel where I got some fantastic photos of the coast






By this point I'm feeling pretty good until about 10 minutes of driving on those roads again. We went all the way from Fort Ross all the way to Benbow (look 'em up... I'm not kidding), where I discover that we're rooming in a trailer, and I'm sleeping on the couch.

Although we are pretty close to the Red Wood "Avenue of the Giants", and all the roads stopped twisting like a caterpillar on a Mobius strip- so tomorrow should be really lovely. Here's to 12 more days ;D

A few interesting things have been happening with my transition. I've been more or less been doing it all the 'slow and steady' route. I've been walking more effeminately, moving more so, and just all in all feeling really great. My folks are cool with my hair and stuff... so its all good :D But during the trip there have been some odd things brought up in conversation that make me curious as to if my parents truely know.

Like I said on the first day we drove for like 7 hours, and after a while I had to be in the front to prevent spewing all over the place. The entire plane ride I had a bag between my legs and couldn't move them, and when I got in the front seat my mother's purse and bags were up there, which I commented "I'm just tired of being in modes of transportation with things between my legs!" I didn't realize what I had said (because yes, I do hate... 'it') my father quips "Well you should be used to it by now!" I donno if he was referring to the bags or my... bags >.>

In the airport my mother slipped and said "Atta girl" to me...

On the ride my father commented "I'm glad we didn't have a girl, too much trouble with all those hormones!" Well... sure, I wasn't born a girl, but I don't think I'd be too different than I am now. Still, its an odd thing to say, yet its been something they've been saying for years. Commenting on what my 'girl name' would have been (Nancy), and what would be different if I had been born such.

Still, I wonder what would things be like if me and Nathan had been born the correct sex...
Would we be happy? Or would we still desire to be the opposite sex? Is it in our genes or more specifically in our train of thought?

... I think about this all the time ^_^;



Also, I want to give a shout out to my Girlfriend Kayla who has been posting on here quite regularly- It really does warm my heart to hear some encouraging words from ya baby <3

Oh, and I'm really lovin' the way me and Nathan's dialect has changed since the blog started. I'm starting to have some southern influences (saying y'all and ... well yknow) to my sentences and the structure has gotten a lot more loose while Nathan has been using some curse words (all well justified!) as well as some solid manly language.... I'm loving it!

New hair cut!

I've got a stinking cold at the moment :( Just as I finish uni and get time to myself I get a stinking cold. Grrr.

I got my essay on masclulinty in Disney films back on Tuesday and got a 2.1 (for you yanks that's the next mark down from the highest mark) which I'm really pleased with. Writing is not my strongest point but I'm pleased I was able to produce something good.

Over the weekend I got my hair cut. Picture time! Dun dun dun!

This is the shortest I've ever had it and love it. The girl did a great job. It even looks good when I'm in 'girl mode' as we'll call it now. All in all pretty happy.

I would write more but my head is thumping after writing this and that last post. I'm off to get myself a hot drink and some more sleep.

OK..it's been a long time.

First off I'm sorry it's taken me awhile to post. I could go on about how I've been busy and such but I haven't really. Not busy enough to take about 10 minutes out of my day to write a quick blog post. Mostly I've either been actually busy, distracted or down about things.

Lets start from the beginning. Ok.

So I told Nigel....and I told my Mum.

My mum took it stupidly awesomely well. I mean REALLY well. She just said if it was gonna make me happy then so be it. Since then we've had a couple of good conversations about it.

Nigel didn't take it as great as Mum did. Can you blame him though? At first he just went quiet and didn't talk about it. Then a few days later he prompted up "Well it's either me or the transition." Which pissed me off no-end. To be honest I didn't want to be the one making the decision because it left both our happiness in my hands. And I get so frustrated when I'm left to make all the decisions but "He just wants to make me happy!" Sounds noble and caring and shit but when all you want is for that other person to be happy but you don't KNOW what will make them happy you're always the bad guy. The bad guy for no reason because they are too scared to make their own decision or to talk about things so both people are happy.

Hope that made sense. I sort of rage when that subject comes up.

Anyway a few weeks later and me and Nigel hadn't been very talkative and we both knew it. It all came out in a bit of a deep talk/argument when Nigel finally told me how he was feeling and I was finally able to express myself without him not wanting to listen. He kept on saying how I wasn't who I use to be, the girl he use to have fun with. I told him I'd rather die then go back to being that way. The scared person who could only do anything if he was there helping me. It was raised that if I was unhappy then it made him feel I was unhappy with him. To be honest I was only happy when I was with him. I couldn't stand my own company back then as I can now. I feel more confident to act the way I want to act in public now. Well I would more when I can afford a better binder that actually holds down everything.

It came to the fact that he didn't find me attractive as a male. Which is fine. I don't want to hear this bollocks that I'm not the same as I use to be. In a way I'm not but I still hold all my good traits and I've gained confidence with it. He wanted 5% . Meaning just once in awhile I would put on a bra, dress as a girl and be his girlfriend. Which...is...FINE! Jesus Christ why did it take about a month to get that out! It does mean that I won't be able to go any further in the transition as I am now I love my boyfriend and I need and want him in my life. Meaning that I have to slap on a bra and some make up every blue moon then I'm fine. It's not what I want...but I want to give something back to him after he's done so much for me.

After the talk we had an awesome weekend together. I'm gonna start another post but things seem all good now :)

"...Are you gay?"

Hey there everyone, I just got back from a carshow that I went to with my dad.

Its really the first time I've been to one of those in over a year. Usually me and my dad load up in our old car, go over to a friends house, pick them up in their old car and go to the show. At the show we'll usually eat and look at all the cars until trophies are handed out, and then we go back to the friends house and I play games with his son.

Anyway, we roll up to the friend's (whom we call Chowder) home and its all good. I see all the new additions he's done to his house in the past year, and he comments about how I've become a "Man". Only if he knew xD. My hair has really grown in the last year or so, and it sorta caught him off guard. It was humorous.

I've been going to this house for probably 12 years now in a similar sort of tradition. Regardless, before we go to the carshow, I'd play videogames. Usually with Chowder's son, Ben, but when he's not there I usually just play by myself as my dad and Chowder catch up.

The main reason why I went this evening was because Ben just graduated from Highschool and I wanted to congratulate him. When I get there he's been playing this other game for a bit, and I let him play while I doodle. Eventually we pop in Wiisports, wherein this happy tune begins. He comments "I know, really gay tune..." I was like "o.O? I wouldn't say that..." As it turns out he thought I would think it was gay, and somehow have a problem with it. I, of course, didn't.

So we play bowling and eventually go to the carshow.

The carshow, as it turns out, was at Hooters.... oh fun ^_^;. The entire time I'm in the restaurant I pay no attention to the women, and either do origami or watch Wheel of Fortune while the three men at my table just go nuts over the boobs and whatnot. Chowder downed a dozen oysters and a dozen wings... I donno how he does it.

Anywho, I think Ben sort of noticed that I was wiggling my hips a bit more or not really watching the women in Hooters... He asks "... Are you gay?" while my head was turned, and I wanted to see if I heard him correctly, and I asked "What did you say?" which he replied "Oh, sorry, it was a question which I shouldn't have asked, forget I said anything" and that was that.

It was overly interesting but tickled me to the bone. If you had asked me that two years ago I would have gotten really defensive. A year ago I would have gotten really nervous and attempted to dismiss it. Asking me that now sort of shows how comfortable I've gotten with myself... it shows that I'm no longer a "Manly man" from a year ago or so- to me it seems like I've femmed up quite a bit. You know, someone who is effeminate enough to be classified as gay. Heh... it made sense to me.


The evening went by pretty uneventful from there... I went over to Books-a-million where I bought Gullivar's Travels, Moll Flanders, and The Illiad for my plane flight in a week. All of the books were only $4 each! What a deal! :D